Unexpected Detours: 2023
We left Kulen Vakuf on December 18th, 2022. It wasn’t because we saw no future there, but because we had to return home - our other home. I received a job offer that would have taken us to California, but we had to be honest with ourselves. We wanted to be closer to our family. So we left. Over a month, we would plan our return to the US. What we wanted to save and preserve until our next time in Bosnia, we left behind at our home in Brcko. This included the painting of a popular street in Tuzla by Mirsad Hadzifendic. What else did we have to leave behind? A lot of clothes. A lot of heavy winter clothes that would never see the light of day in Georgia.
That morning, we left very early. A lady from the village came over to say her goodbyes. She both cried and smiled at the possibility of ever seeing us again. We admired this woman who was so friendly yet aware and content with the life she and her husband built for themselves in this village.
The taxi dropped us off in Bihac with our seven packs of luggage at 5:45 AM.
When we had a lot of time (typically not with seven pieces of luggage), we liked to walk over to the gas station at the main Bihac bus stop and grab a nice, frothy, and delicious coffee.
Cubas did not drink coffee. However, while in Bosnia, he broke his own rule because, well, you have to. It was a way of life, and in respecting the country, he learned to enjoy the taste of slowing down with a cup in the right atmosphere. This scene would qualify as we stood at the bus stop very early with the wind still chilly and crisp in the quiet hours of the night waiting to board the bus to Sarajevo.
Bosnia was a trip of the legends. I came there with Cubas. I had not planned to fall in love before my Fulbright trip started, but it happened. Cubas took the chance to come to Bosnia with me. It wasn’t easy, but it was worth it. We took a chance. We found love in one another, and that love only grew in Bosnia and beyond today.
In reminiscing over the time that I spent in Bosnia, it would make sense to turn back the wheel on my life and how it started. I love my life for all its worth. I choose my life. Of course, not everything is within my human control. To bring you into 2023 would bring you into a year of darkness, so I wish not to start here. In the darkness that was 2023, there were still glimmers of hope. I lost a good chunk of that year completely starting over, worried and uncertain. All the things I fought not to feel, there was no running from them. When I returned from my trip to Bosnia, life hit me too quickly. It didn’t give me much room to breathe.
Mama and Ina explore St. Petersburg Beach, Florida, enjoying laughter, warm sunshine, and the vibrant atmosphere as they stroll along the sandy shores and create cherished memories.
April 10th, 2023: Mom takes an MRI on a routine doctor’s visit after complaining of a bump on the side of the head. While my mom was getting her MRI done in the room up the hall, the images were getting processed across the hall from me, where I sat in the waiting area. The nurse ran out of the room to me. Without saying anything else to me, she let me know that her husband was a cancer survivor.
I was confused, and angry that she told me this way. I put it together before the results from the doctor arrived and they confirmed it. a few days later.
I had no idea what to do with this information. I hated that I knew it and that this happened to my mom. My mom was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer of the lung that has metastasized to her brain.
The year 2023 would be a year of battle: questioning life and mortality, life’s fairness, countless doctor visits, emergency room visits, intense emotional struggle, and immense growth for our loving family.
We held on to each other as tightly and as best every step of the way. So much changes when you lose your ability to your body and we must sit by and watch. It takes you to the lowest places.
It also helps you reach profound new depths of love and appreciation. I love my mom with all of my heart. As she fights, we must battle and do everything we can alongside her and provide her with the best love, support, and care possible.
