This is How Meditation Saved Me.

Why should I meditate? 
The why is the key to your practice.

Meditation makes my life easier and more simple. It slows down the chatter in my mind, minimizes my emotional struggles, and improves my quality of life. It brings me more ease and joy every day. It allows for me to be my best self. Meditation helps me be who I am and become all I want to be in this lifetime. It helps me focus. It helps to guide me on what is best for me. Every day I work to listen to myself in the midsts of all that is life because to me, knowing yourself in this world is the greatest gift - to know thyself and be good with yourself in that stillnesss. That is freedom. That is peace of mind. Meditation is a tool that helps to bring us closer to ourselves and helps us find our path. With prolonged mindfulness meditation practice, it is possible to influence and improve our mental and physical well-being to help decrease levels of stress, anxiety, and depression. This not only helps in the short-term as we experience the power of growing ourselves, but also in the long-term with the health benefits of preventing long-term stress from building up in the body, lowering your risk for conditions — like heart disease, depression, PTSD, obesity, high blood pressure, and depression. What do we know about the heart and stress? The two don't jive - they block each other. Under constant stress, it voids us of a pleasurable life, a healthy mind and body, and our ability to enjoy simply being alive. 

Spiritual Truths that have a profound impact if exercised in daily life:
 
1. Have the courage to accept what is for things beyond your control. 
2. Have the courage to change yourself when something is not working.  
3. Become comfortable with change. 
4. Always do your best. 

I have overcome the difficulties of fleeing an ethnic cleansing, being a refugee for the first decade of my life, and facing discrimination as a foreigner in another land. PTSD, depression, and anxiety were the byproducts of the accumulation of my life events as I went from being a child of war to an adult who could not emotionally regulate well and without tools to protect my heart. 

I am healing because I found the power of stillness and reflection using the breath as my anchor, meditation as the tool, and stillness as my guide. 

This is how meditation saved me.  As much pain I have endured during these experiences, I have come out – bolder, more robust, wiser, and even more resilient, kind, and compassionate. Becoming my healer through my meditation practices allowed me to understand how my physical surroundings, coupled with my personal beliefs, habits & behaviors, and traumatic memories, triggered my negative emotional states and how they affected my overall health. Through mindful meditation, I had a clear mind to learn what would be essential for my happiness and well-being. 

The beginning: I was born in Bosnia & Hercegovina. My family fled the civil war that began in April of 1992. Certainty of life as it once was imagined previously became nonexistent. By my third birthday, we settled in four refugee camps in four European countries. Berlin would receive my family and me under the asylum status  known as “Flüchtlinge.” From age three to ten, I assimilated into the German culture. While I spoke perfect German, living on the east side of Berlin confronted me with dealing with certain societal issues I was too young and naive to fully understand at the time. These instances in my childhood deeply wounded me, and I did not realize the depth until many years later. What does it mean to be told you don't belong at a young age? What does it mean to be shamed for being different? How do you reverse trauma that others inflicted upon you? I was just a little child and had no control over my circumstances. What impressions did these instances have on my later life and how I learned to associate being accepted, or feeling loved? The body and mind remember. This is how meditation saved me.  

On July 13th, 1999, my parents, sister, and I arrived at the Hartsfield-Jackson Atlanta Airport with white and blue IOM plastic bags hanging by our sides. We arrived at our new home in Lawrenceville, Georgia. The change was immense and very difficult for me. I could not speak English when I arrived during the 5th grade. The only two words I learned before coming to America were 'yes' and 'no,' which I conveniently learned with the help of a pair of earrings I received as a parting gift. The schools here were not like those in Berlin. Inside my new school walls were strange sights, sounds, and smells I did not recognize. When I arrived in the 5th grade, I stood out. I was wearing clothes that kids at school in US classrooms were not wearing. I was wearing clothes that were fitting for my German classmates. I could not communicate with anyone. Despite my shock, I had to learn the language quickly because I could not understand anything without it, which pushed me to learn it much faster. After four months in ESOL learning English with the help of a Bosnian teacher, I learned to speak English fluently. 

The road to self-discovery is going to be a very challenging process to undergo, but it will also be the most important, profound, and rewarding as you learn your purpose in your life through self-inquiry by sitting in meditation and in stillness. You will see your life unfold for the better when you hear your sacred thoughts as they settle from all the rest of the chatter. You will start saying no to things not meant for you because you know now what is meant for you. You know who you are and where you want to go. You know how your mind, body, and soul feel when something is right for you. This part of you is strengthened and made super-human through meditation. Meditation helps me recognize what feelings arise in different circumstances. In this process, I can choose how I react to circumstances instead of worrying, stressing, or lashing out. 

Through meditation, I learned how to silence my mind, how to let go, how to move on, how to be more understanding, how to stand my ground, and how to be more loving towards myself and others. Do you know what else I learned? I learned to trust and listen to myself. That took me many years to learn after my world was manipulated to make me doubt myself. Pretending things are great, wanting to please, or worrying about others made me stay stuck. It was only when I could quiet down all of the noise that surrounded me that I could hear myself again. I worked tremendously hard for the next few years.  I was religious about my meditation, yoga, journaling, eating well, reading, and listening to helpful resources as part of my healing journey and practices.

Meditation is a method for reconnecting to one’s inner self to come face to face with your mind and essence, learning to stay more aware and present in the moment. Meditation helps us bring life into balance. Greater awareness of the present helps to improve negative reactions to triggering events or situations. It has been proven that mind-body interventions, such as meditation and yoga, can reverse the effects of PTSD, anxiety, and depression on the body. I believe that with prolonged meditation, these symptoms lessen immensely and can disappear with consistent practice. I use the lessons learned to share my experience in hopes of helping those who have experienced a similar story.  

I am healing because I found the power of stillness and reflection using the breath as my anchor, meditation as the tool, and stillness as my guide.

“Past pain might make it hard for you to love yourself fully today or to completely let go and place your trust in others or safety in another person's hand – because letting go in this way might be scary after what we’ve been through. It is okay to accept what happened to us and take that lesson to understand ourselves better” -

Sense of Relief Meditation